He ignored the pretend hand-holding and empty kisses. He knew she loved this but someday, she’d grow tired of it. At the end of it all, he’d be the one she’d fall back into. He’d be the one who’d hold her hand through the tears, and kiss her pain away. Because this? It’s not pretend.
On chilly December mornings, she’d wake up an extra hour early just so she could have a cup of hot chocolate ready for him. She would cook special dark chocolate in milk and thicken it with some marshmallows. She’d go back to bed only to wake up with him, sipping his mug of cocoa happily.
It was always the little things.
We usually ate lunch together but when I passed by his area, he wasn’t there. With shoulders slumped, I dragged myself to our usual table, where I saw a sorry note that said he was going to be late.
I smiled to myself as I ate my salad alone.
We both plug in our earphones the moment we step on to the platform. We nod a hello to each other right before we get lost in our own world. I would always look at him just when Feist sings my moon, my man. And I know he looks at me, too—a second late.
That weekend, I was going to see him again. After four years, would he be the same person I knew in high school? Did he ever think of me when I was away? I made my way to the back of the house, where I remember we would sit and talk. He was already there.
When I hear music, I think of you. Of how your laugh sounds like bells or how you glow when you smile. This song came on the radio today and I couldn’t place where I’d heard it before. But for some reason, your face was the only thing I could picture while it was playing.
There was no one left on the island. Everything was washed away. Not a single trace of life on the once perfect paradise.
We had just arrived, two days after the storm, to survey the damage. I couldn’t bear to look at what used to be my home, my sanctuary.
How do you begin again?
“Is this seat taken?”
I wanted to say no. Obviously he had nowhere else to sit. All the benches were occupied and the only chair free was this one at my table.
“You know what, it’s not a problem. Sorry, I bothered you.”
Before I could speak, he was already too far to hear me.
