We are nothing but words, phrases, lines, and verses. On paper, on screens, through signals, through channels. But this, this rapid heartbeat, is real to me. That day when your name turned gray and never lit up again, I felt my world crumble to pieces. What was real to me, was it make-believe to you?
As a kid, I was never the type to shy away from other boys and girls. I never allowed myself to be out of place.
I guess sometimes, I’m still that way. Always scared that if I got left behind, I’d be alone. I had the constant need to be noticed or be given attention.
We’d been talking for hours already and I was tired. I didn’t want the night to end without resolving anything.
“What do you want me to do?” I sighed.
He motioned for me to sit beside him.
I was hesitant but walked right over. He pulled me to his side and kissed me, “I’m sorry.”
When I was younger, a fire broke out in my sister’s room. We had been napping that afternoon on my older sister’s bed when I felt something hot on my cheek. Before I knew it, people were screaming, waking us up and pulling us aside. I remember my dad smelling my sister’s hair. Almost burnt.
“Mommy, why do you like taking pictures of the sky?” my four-year-old daughter asked me on a trip to the beach.
I smiled and set her on my lap, “Do you see those clouds?” She nodded as if to tell me to go on. “That’s where Mommy’s mom is now.”
“Can she see us now?”
Andrea lived in the same posh village all her life. She was brought to school in a big, black SUV with a driver and a maid. She was never left to roam the mall or walk to the park by herself.
This morning, she woke up and decided, “I’m going to walk to school today.”
We were in love. We held hands all day and he whispered sweet nothings into my ear. Everyday, we spent time together. I never had to look for him or worry, because he was always right where I wanted him.
But at night when the cameras are gone, everything changes. He no longer knows me.
I have something to tell you but you have to promise you won’t laugh or leave. Promise me. Because once these words leave my lips, I won’t be able to take them back and things won’t be the same between us anymore.
So, this is it. Are you ready?
I’m falling in love with you.
